I've been hearing a lot about Smart Houses lately and the older I get the more I want one of those.
A Smart House, if you haven't heard, is a digital version of your own home.
Smart Houses require a lot less work. They turn lights on and off. They regulate your thermostat. They open and close your fridge for you. They even start and stop your gas fireplace.
It sounds sci-fi, but this technology is available off the shelf - the only limitation is what's in your wallet. It’s pricey stuff.
I could see retrofitting our 35-year-old home to do all these things and more.
My smart home would automatically water my plants, raise and lower my blinds and feed my three Dachshunds.
There is a courting of sorts that must occur between homeowners and their smart technology. You have to allow the smart home to get to know you well enough in order to predict your activities, sort of like dating.
On the one hand, I can't imagine handing over the control of my home to a centralized, calculating, computing system with motion detectors and sensors everywhere. Would I really want to do that?
On the other hand, if I could remotely start cooking dinner at home before leaving the office, that might make it worth it.
The more I think about it, the more appealing a helpful, intelligent and friendly robotic home becomes. Brian would like it, too, since it would significantly reduce his "Honey, do" list.
While dreaming about all these bells and whistles, I came up with a wish list for my very own smart home...
I want to be able to tell my front door, "Open," and my garage door, "Close."
I'd like my washer to load my dryer, fold the clothes and put them away.
If only there were a Swiffer that could "swiff" on its own and vacuum to do the same. I want that, too.
What about a self-cleaning toilet, tub and shower? Wouldn’t that be nice?
I could use windows that wash themselves (I really don't like washing windows) and a power washer to scrub my porch and siding on command. We bought a powerwasher two years ago and haven't used it on the siding yet.
How about a refrigerator with technology that tells the grocery store what I'm out of and the grocery store automatically delivers what I need to my door? That would be a good thing to have.
I want cobwebs and dust bunnies to self-destruct and the goop in the drains to disappear with the wink of my eye. Yes!
I really could get used to a Smart House. I'll take one of those, please...
2010 © Copyright Paula Damon. A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her columns have won first-place in National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women Communications Contests. In the 2009 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took three first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at www.my-story-your-story.blogspot.com and find her on Facebook.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Grocery store samples leave a lot to be desired
The other day, I was in the grocery store with my husband, Brian. It is rare for us to shop together, since he buys the groceries, which is the envy of all my friends.
When I do tag along, there’s usually a lady in the meat section wearing a white apron and cooking cocktail weenies on a little cart or she's in the dairy section passing out Dixie cups of juice or yogurt.
Her line is always the same..."Would you like to try a sample?"
My response is the same every time..."Not today, thank you." I’m not sure why I say that. I never take samples at grocery stores.
One of the great mysteries in life is the hoard of grown adults waiting at her booth pretending to be interested.
These people probably just came from the Golden Buffet or have cupboards chock full of food. Yet, they will take not one, but two or three samples.
I am wary of these shoppers, Brian being among them. On this run through the grocery store, he must have drifted past the cocktail weenie stand two or three times. I was so embarrassed I pretended I didn’t know him.
How can people be so hungry that they need to stop and eat teensy- weensy food samples that have been exposed to shoppers coughing, sneezing, touching and breathing?
I admit the aroma of barbecue sauce does tempt me. However, the thought of the high percent of grocery store samples contaminated with bacteria and germs really turns my stomach.
I know several people, my husband included, who consider a round or two of grocery store samples to be lunch!
Many shoppers do walk past the sample lady without indulging. They cast an "I don’t do food samples" glance, while she tends to the flock of "tasters" gathering like cattle at a feeding trough.
They brake to taste test, faking their interest in the latest brand of frozen pizza or brats. These people gobble up a bunch of samples without purchasing even one box or container of the product, and then walk away with full stomachs and grocery carts loaded down with other stuff.
You know, it makes me wonder if they realize the sample lady is not paid to give out free food, she is paid to help sell products.
I’d like to think that we are a nation with more sincerity and nobility than to take food samples with no intentions of buying the product. Or maybe I'm being too idealistic.
2010 © Copyright Paula Damon. A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her columns have won first-place in National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women Communications Contests. In the 2009 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took three first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at www.my-story-your-story.blogspot.com and find her on Facebook.
When I do tag along, there’s usually a lady in the meat section wearing a white apron and cooking cocktail weenies on a little cart or she's in the dairy section passing out Dixie cups of juice or yogurt.
Her line is always the same..."Would you like to try a sample?"
My response is the same every time..."Not today, thank you." I’m not sure why I say that. I never take samples at grocery stores.
One of the great mysteries in life is the hoard of grown adults waiting at her booth pretending to be interested.
These people probably just came from the Golden Buffet or have cupboards chock full of food. Yet, they will take not one, but two or three samples.
I am wary of these shoppers, Brian being among them. On this run through the grocery store, he must have drifted past the cocktail weenie stand two or three times. I was so embarrassed I pretended I didn’t know him.
How can people be so hungry that they need to stop and eat teensy- weensy food samples that have been exposed to shoppers coughing, sneezing, touching and breathing?
I admit the aroma of barbecue sauce does tempt me. However, the thought of the high percent of grocery store samples contaminated with bacteria and germs really turns my stomach.
I know several people, my husband included, who consider a round or two of grocery store samples to be lunch!
Many shoppers do walk past the sample lady without indulging. They cast an "I don’t do food samples" glance, while she tends to the flock of "tasters" gathering like cattle at a feeding trough.
They brake to taste test, faking their interest in the latest brand of frozen pizza or brats. These people gobble up a bunch of samples without purchasing even one box or container of the product, and then walk away with full stomachs and grocery carts loaded down with other stuff.
You know, it makes me wonder if they realize the sample lady is not paid to give out free food, she is paid to help sell products.
I’d like to think that we are a nation with more sincerity and nobility than to take food samples with no intentions of buying the product. Or maybe I'm being too idealistic.
2010 © Copyright Paula Damon. A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her columns have won first-place in National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women Communications Contests. In the 2009 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took three first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at www.my-story-your-story.blogspot.com and find her on Facebook.
New Year says bye-bye raccoon, squirrel, turkey neck
People have accused me of pedaling hope. I am proud of this accusation and the first to admit that I am guilty as charged.
Most likely, anyone could conclude this from reading my Christmas letter. There’s not a bit of bad news in it, which may give many people the wrong impression. Believe me; my life is far from perfect.
That’s why every year at this time I write about what happened between the lines of my holiday letter. Here goes…
Last January, I started the year with surgery to remove benign ovarian cysts. I took two weeks off from work but should have taken three. After returning to my job, I ended up with the worst cases of sinus infection and bronchitis and had to take two rounds of antibiotics to get well.
This past summer, the vegetable garden was a flop, again. We had some decent cherry tomatoes, but everything else was a complete disaster. It was the most miserable looking vegetable garden this side of the Mississippi.
Our shoreline eroded another foot this year, which is due to too many high-speed boats racing up and down our tiny lake. I’d like to hire a contractor to stabilize the bank, but Brian thinks it will cost too much, probably about $15,000.
This is coming from a man who for a brief spell considered having plastic surgery on his turkey neck. Here’s the funny part: he thinks the bill would be right around $5,000. If he only knew the real cost of plastic surgery, he would say, "Hello, turtlenecks, bye-bye turkey neck."
I decided to go all out in 2009 by taking name brand vitamins for women over the age of 50, instead of generic ones. I figured that at age 57 I’m worth it.
We had pouring down rain on all but two days of our fall vacation.
I went through a passage of sorts. Out of utter frustration over always losing my reading glasses, I very abruptly started wearing a glasses chain and started washing away more of my gray with ash blond. Go figure.
In November, Brian broke his right ring finger to go with the left ring finger he broke last summer. This latest break was when he started a mini-remolding project on our kitchen, which caused my OCD to flare up. (I thought the kitchen was fine the way it was.)
We had some run-ins with nature in 2009.
A raccoon decided that the inside of our house would make a better home than the outside of our house. So, late one night, he (or she) climbed up the downspout, tiptoed across the roof, pried open the cupola and settled in for a long winter’s nap, or so the raccoon thought. Brian added some mesh over the vents and that ended that.
Just last week, two of our three Dachshunds caught and killed a squirrel in our yard. It must have been a very slow squirrel or a very stupid one, because with our Dachshunds’ short stubby legs, we’re still wondering how in the world this all happened.
Unfortunately, by the time we arrived at the scene, it was too late. Fighting to the very end, that squirrel did not go down easily.
Zoe suffered five lacerations to the snout; Poe ended up with three and there was blood everywhere.
Both dogs landed in the veterinarian’s clinic for damage control and received shots to ward off infections. And now, I have a $148 bill to pay all because of a squirrel.
Even though these things occurred in 2009, I’d like to think that it was a pretty good year.
It amazes me, though, how much I really do leave out of my Christmas letters. It’s probably for the best.
2010 © Copyright Paula Damon. A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her columns have won first-place in National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women Communications Contests. In the 2009 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took three first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at www.my-story-your-story.blogspot.com and find her on Facebook.
Most likely, anyone could conclude this from reading my Christmas letter. There’s not a bit of bad news in it, which may give many people the wrong impression. Believe me; my life is far from perfect.
That’s why every year at this time I write about what happened between the lines of my holiday letter. Here goes…
Last January, I started the year with surgery to remove benign ovarian cysts. I took two weeks off from work but should have taken three. After returning to my job, I ended up with the worst cases of sinus infection and bronchitis and had to take two rounds of antibiotics to get well.
This past summer, the vegetable garden was a flop, again. We had some decent cherry tomatoes, but everything else was a complete disaster. It was the most miserable looking vegetable garden this side of the Mississippi.
Our shoreline eroded another foot this year, which is due to too many high-speed boats racing up and down our tiny lake. I’d like to hire a contractor to stabilize the bank, but Brian thinks it will cost too much, probably about $15,000.
This is coming from a man who for a brief spell considered having plastic surgery on his turkey neck. Here’s the funny part: he thinks the bill would be right around $5,000. If he only knew the real cost of plastic surgery, he would say, "Hello, turtlenecks, bye-bye turkey neck."
I decided to go all out in 2009 by taking name brand vitamins for women over the age of 50, instead of generic ones. I figured that at age 57 I’m worth it.
We had pouring down rain on all but two days of our fall vacation.
I went through a passage of sorts. Out of utter frustration over always losing my reading glasses, I very abruptly started wearing a glasses chain and started washing away more of my gray with ash blond. Go figure.
In November, Brian broke his right ring finger to go with the left ring finger he broke last summer. This latest break was when he started a mini-remolding project on our kitchen, which caused my OCD to flare up. (I thought the kitchen was fine the way it was.)
We had some run-ins with nature in 2009.
A raccoon decided that the inside of our house would make a better home than the outside of our house. So, late one night, he (or she) climbed up the downspout, tiptoed across the roof, pried open the cupola and settled in for a long winter’s nap, or so the raccoon thought. Brian added some mesh over the vents and that ended that.
Just last week, two of our three Dachshunds caught and killed a squirrel in our yard. It must have been a very slow squirrel or a very stupid one, because with our Dachshunds’ short stubby legs, we’re still wondering how in the world this all happened.
Unfortunately, by the time we arrived at the scene, it was too late. Fighting to the very end, that squirrel did not go down easily.
Zoe suffered five lacerations to the snout; Poe ended up with three and there was blood everywhere.
Both dogs landed in the veterinarian’s clinic for damage control and received shots to ward off infections. And now, I have a $148 bill to pay all because of a squirrel.
Even though these things occurred in 2009, I’d like to think that it was a pretty good year.
It amazes me, though, how much I really do leave out of my Christmas letters. It’s probably for the best.
2010 © Copyright Paula Damon. A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her columns have won first-place in National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women Communications Contests. In the 2009 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took three first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at www.my-story-your-story.blogspot.com and find her on Facebook.
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